


Turkish Delight

by SHERlockedNloaded



Series: Edmund Whump [2]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Edmund Pevensie-centric, Hurt Edmund, Narnia, PTSD, Poor Edmund, Sibling Love, Traitor, Turkish Delight, bad memories, sweets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHERlockedNloaded/pseuds/SHERlockedNloaded
Summary: Edmund never thought he'd ever hate a candy as much as the one he'd given his siblings up for. But he's the only one, other than the witch and Mr. Tumnus, that knows one of the main reasons for his treachery. Of course, that means they don't know how bad of an idea it is to give him a box for his birthday.
Series: Edmund Whump [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980703
Comments: 8
Kudos: 125





	Turkish Delight

Edmund never thought that a box of sweets would give him a full-blown panic attack. But life always seemed to pull things like that when you least expect it.

And on his birthday, too. Just wonderful.

His mum had gotten them for him. She always did. They had been his favorite, after all.

He went on a roller coaster of emotions when he unwrapped the gift- a moment of confusion twisting into realization, guilt, horror, and then a haste mask of calm. He tried to think happy thoughts to dispel the dark ones, but it didn't work. It was so unexpected and out-of-the-blue that he couldn't seem to get over it. All he knew was that he had to get away.

"I-Excuse me for a bit. I, erm, need to use the restroom," Edmund lied, trying not to shove the box away from him. He stumbled away from it, staring at it warily like it might attack him.

"Edmund, the bathroom is that way," his mother said gently, pointing down the hall.

He looked over at her, then his siblings. Their eyes shone with confusion and concern.

"Mmm?" He looked back at the box, then back to them. "I- Did I say restroom? I meant air. I need air. Fresh. Be back in a bit."

He gave one last glance at the box before peeling his eyes away and hurrying out of the room, desperately wanting to get away from the eyes of his siblings and mother. He didn't even notice that he'd slammed the door shut on the way out of the house.

He let out a breath as he stepped into the sunlight. He hadn't been lying when he said he needed fresh air.

I should've seen this coming, Edmund thought, fervently pacing back and forth on the lawn. Why- why didn't I see this coming? I could've prepared myself for it. I'm such an idiot.

He tried to ignore the voice swirling around in his head, but when a crisp breeze ruffled his hair, all he could think about was her.

"You're here because he turned you in... for sweeties."

The guilt came rushing back as Tumnus's yelp of pain came to mind. He knew that he should've made peace with his transgression by now, and for the most part, he had. The Turkish Delight had brought it all back, though.

The sugary substance that had caused him to betray his brothers and sisters, betray the satyr. Betray himself.

And he just couldn't seem to forgive himself for that.

His pace grew faster and faster with his thoughts. How was he going to return to his family? What excuses could he come up with to cover up the lame one about needing fresh air? They didn't know about the Turkish Delight, only that he betrayed them. He also didn't want to hurt his mum's feelings by refusing the gift.

Or Aslan's gift. He'd overheard Susan and Lucy talking about Aslan's sacrifice during the Golden Age, and to dwell on his past mistakes seemed like he didn't appreciate what Alsan had done for him. What had Aslan said?

"There is no need to talk about what is past."

And yet, when he'd seen the candy he'd been willing to trade his family for, all the guilt and shame and horrible feelings came rushing back.

He ran a hand down his face, trying to focus on taking deep breaths and ignoring the memories of his less pleasant times in Narnia. He was so focused, he didn't notice the gentle closing of the door behind him, nor did he hear the footsteps he would've recognized as his littlest sister's.

"Edmund?" Lucy's voice broke through his mental breakdown, making him jump.

It took him a while to release the tension that had been building up so quickly before he relaxed. "Hey, Lucy."

She took his hands, looking up into his eyes, reminding him of the wisdom in her own. Sometimes he forgot that she was an adult in a child's body. Unfortunately, that meant he wouldn't be able to fool her as easily.

"What happened in there?" she asked, tilting her head toward the house. 

He bit his lip and tried to stop the shaking in his hands. "I..." He licked his lips nervously, debating whether or not telling her was a good idea. He hated being a burden to people, especially his siblings. They'd been through just as much heartache and troubles as he had, and the fact that he couldn't deal with something as minuscule as candies... it was embarrassing. But he loved Lucy, and lying would hurt her feelings. 

That thought pushed him over the edge. He didn't want to hurt his little sister ever again. "The candies. The White Witch... she gave them to me that day, when I first went into Narnia. They were part of the reason that I..." He hated saying it. "That I betrayed you."

Lucy's eyes widened with understanding. "Oh..."

Edmund bowed his head, opting to look at the grass below him over her searching gaze. He didn't want to see her reaction. She was undoubtedly frowning at him, he just knew it. He couldn't blame her. Whenever he thought about what he had done, he wanted to punch himself.

"Look, Ed. No one blames you for that anymore."

His head snapped up, and he was surprised to see a tenderness in her eyes that reminded him of Aslan. "What?"

"You messed up," Lucy continued. "So what? Everyone does once in a while. Jadis just focused it on you. We're all traitors."

"You... traitor?" Edmund asked, shocked. He couldn't believe what she was saying. "You are nothing of the sorts, are you joking? You never would have given us up- especially not for candy."

"We'll never know," Lucy said with a shrug. "I could've been tempted by something else. Besides, all that doesn't matter. You've been forgiven by Aslan, who... I mean, He sacrificed a lot for yo... all of us."

Edmund sighed. "I know what Aslan did for me, Lucy. I heard you and Susan."

Her eyes widened with worry and slight panic. "Oh, Ed, I'm sorry! We-."

"It doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head. "It just makes me feel worse about what I did."

"Well, stop it!" 

The harshness in her tone made him flinch. 

"Stop thinking about it and just move on. Or if you are going to think about it, focus on what you can do better." She smiled, the sternness melting away. "Okay?"

Edmund just let out a weak laugh and pecked her on the cheek. "I'll try, Lu."

"Good." She went on her tippy-toes and pecked him back before pulling him to the house. "Come on. We have to come up with an excuse for what took you so long."

Edmund hesitated. "Do I have to eat the Turkish Delight? I had so much it made me sick. I'm not so fond of them anymore..."

Lucy grinned. "Can I have them, then?"

He nodded quickly, glad to be rid of them. Plus, giving them to her seemed to- in some small way- make up for giving her up for them in Narnia. "Of course, Lu."

She giggled and began pulling him again. 

"You're quite intimidating, you know," Edmund said before they entered the house. 

"I know!" she chirped brightly, then pulled them both inside. 

"Guess what?" she yelled excitedly when they entered the living room. The others looked at her curiously, and Edmund just sheepishly rubbed his toe in the carpet. "Edmund's decided to give me his sweets!"

"Aw," Peter pouted. "I was hoping I could have them."

"I'll share!" Lucy promised. 

"But-" their mother interjected as her daughter pulled the box off Edmund's chair and helped herself to a couple. "Honey, I thought you loved these!"

Edmund inhaled quickly, trying desperately to come up with an excuse. "I-"

Lucy cut in, quickly saving him. "He loves us more!"

Edmund grinned at the powder spread all over her face. Despite being an adult mentally, the child still managed to take over sometimes. 

"Hey!" Peter protested, reaching for one of the delights. "Don't eat them all, Lu! He loves us, remember?"

Susan snatched one with a grin, letting out a bark of laughter when Lucy slapped her hand. 

That, of course, made everyone burst into fits of laughter. 

Edmund grinned at the sight before him- his three beloved siblings and his gentle, wise mother- and realized they couldn't be more correct. He loved them far more than he'd ever loved those silly pieces of candy.


End file.
